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T O P 5 C L A S S I C
Now in chipotle salsa flavor!
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February 24, 2003


(Today's list was originally published on March 7, 2001)


The Top 14 Answers from the Magic 8-Ball

13> Al Gore: "Can I trust an 8-Ball to answer all my questions?"
8-Ball: "Hell, yes -- you invented me!"

12> Guilt-ridden, Jewish son of the 8-Ball: "I'm going to play
some Snooker with the fellahs, okay, Ma?"
8-Ball: "Answer hazy -- I'm probably not having a stroke, though.
Enjoy yourself. I'll be fine in the dark by myself."

8> Adam Sandler: "Will I ever be taken seriously as an actor?"
8-Ball: "Gimme a break. Go play with your money, dumbass."

7> Al Gore: "What is Florida orange juice made from and what
should I do in 2004?"
8-Ball: "Concentrate and try again."

6> Santa Claus: "This year, will I get cookies or nookie?"
8-Ball: "Have another Chips Ahoy, Tubby."

5> Robert Downey, Jr.: "Does prison sex involve more cuddling
than it did three months ago?"
8-Ball: "My sources say, 'Bend over, pretty boy.'"

4> Jack Nicholson: "Will Lara Flynn Boyle and I ever get back
together?"
8-Ball: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"

3> Kid Rock: "How many minutes of fame do I have left?"
8-Ball: "Let me get you Vanilla Ice's phone number."

2> Britney Spears: "Am I pregnant?"
8-Ball: "Probably, you little slut."


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Answer from the Magic 8-Ball...


1> Dick Cheney: "Will my heart be strong enough to carry me
through the next 4 years?"
8-Ball: "My sources say... BOO!!!"