1. i desperately need a new harddrive. i shudder at the memory of how i used to make do with a ludicrous 2 gigs on my old computer. i was just forced to delete a few episodes of monty python's flying circus to make way for back door sluts 9 ( as seen on south park! ).

not! i mean, i not download back door sluts 9. but it was on south park.

before long i'll be reduced to going through my mp3s and making space, 4 megs at a time.

i need a new harddrive.


2. you should download the lord of the rings spoof by jack black ( whoever he is ) and sarah michelle gellar did for the 2002 mtv music awards. funny shit. and the matrix reloaded spoof by sean william scott and justin timberlake.


3. i look dead sexy in running shorts.

if you don't have anything nice to say, then keep your mouth shut, bitch.


4. in the course of verifying the records of my entire company over the past week plus, i've found a scary percentage of people don't know their own religions / addresses / ccas.

remember the recent study exploring the hypothesis that, infinite monkeys banging away on typewriters will eventually produce the entire works of shakespeare? well, this corroborates the study's conclusion that the hypothesis is untrue - i'm surrounded by monkeys and there's no shakespeare in sight.

and two people have "nil" listed under "language medium" in their official records. so apparently every single thing i've heard them say was a figment of my imagination, since they don't know any languages. me no speaka you language.

and i'm the only person in my entire company with a different security class. i have absolutely no idea why.


6. you're probably wondering where point number 5 is.

i don't know either.


7. bar top dancing is going to be legal tomorrow. according to our beloved prime minister, bar top dancing might be conducive to creativity.

he has got to stop saying things like that if he wants the world to stop laughing at us.

what, you get enough people dancing on bar tops and suddenly, boom! a silicon valley sprouts up in the middle of choa chu kang?


8. cartman is a real asshole.


9. A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


10. i'm writing this sentence so i can end off this post on a nice round number.