Q : I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true...?

A : Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it .
Don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer ;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer...?
Take a nap...

Q : Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables...?

A : You must grasp logistical efficiencies.
What does a cow eat...? Hay and corn.
And what are these...? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain...? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.


Q : Is beer or wine bad for me...?

A : Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables.
As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into 3 categories : animal, mineral, and vegetable.
We all know that beer and wine are not animal,
and they're not on the periodic table of elements,
so that only leaves one thing, right...?
My advice : Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.


Q : How can I calculate my body/fat ratio...?

A : Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is 1 : 1.
If you have 2 bodies, your ratio is 2 : 1, etc.


Q : What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program...?

A : Can't think of a single one, sorry.
My philosophy is : No Pain...Good.


Q : Aren't fried foods bad for you...?

A : You're not listening !
Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it.
How could getting more vegetables be bad for you...?


Q : What's the secret to healthy eating...?

A : Thicker gravy.


Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle...?

A : Definitely not !
When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q : Is chocolate bad for me...?

A : Are you crazy...? HELLO !
Cocoa beans ... another vegetable !!!
"It's the best feel-good food around !"


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Have a cookie.... flour is a veggie !