for the just about everyone appyling for law ( god knows why ):



* Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

* Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

* Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

* Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

* Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

* Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

* Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No.
Good!

* Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.

* Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

* Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.

* Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

* Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand

* Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.

* Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery

* Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

* Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

* Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.

* Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.

* Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

* Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.

* Q: What do you call an automobile accident between 2 lawyers?
A: A Saab story.

* Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

* Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road?
A: To sue the chicken on the other side.

* Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: Accountants know they're boring.

* Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
A: Skeet.