the Very Secret Diaries of the fellowship - excerpt from Gimli's -

DAY SIXTEEN

Legolas told me Aragorn is way into Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anything. Suggested to Legolas that we might want a leader who is less of a lech. Legolas then asked if I wanted to take a bath with him. Beginning to suspect that all that Elvish poetry about the glory of warrior-bonds between men just big cover-up for illicit spanking games.



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The Monty Python Fellowship of the Ring -

Narrator: It is here that 5 of the black riders of Mordor, the Nazgul, catch up to them.
Head Nazgul: Ni!
Nazgul of Mordor: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Frodo: Who are you?!
Head Nazgul: We are the ring-wraiths, The Nazgul Who Say... "Ni!"
Random Ni!
Frodo: No! Not the Nazgul Who Say... "Ni!"