April 11, 2003


(Today's list was originally published on April 27, 2001)


NOTE FROM CHRIS:

MaternityOutfitters.com has started selling thongs
for pregnant women. The owner says, "It's
something that women get used to wearing and don't
want to quit wearing just because they're pregnant."

Right... well, that just *demands* a list, doesn't it?


The Top 15 Marketing Slogans for a Maternity Thong


15> Lose yourself in a thong. Or vice versa.

14> Being pregnant doesn't mean you have to stop looking
like a slut.

13> The ribbon for your baby's finish line.

12> Don't block the light -- give your baby a womb with a view!

11> In the third trimester, every pair of underwear you own
becomes a thong anyway!

10> Absolutely NOT zesty!

9> The choice of knocked-up tramps everywhere!

8> Appearing in Sisqo's nightmares since 1998!

7> An ass *that* big should be flaunted.

6> Because it's never to early to teach your baby to floss.

5> Hey, you already look like a sumo wrestler.

4> So snug, so tight, so razor thin. When he comes out,
he'll have a twin!

3> Sleek and sexy... like the string on a baked ham.

2> Hey, it MIGHT get you laid, Goodyear!


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Marketing
Slogan for a Maternity Thong...


1> The *safe* way to do crack while you're pregnant.