How to Shower Like a Woman
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
>according to
> lights and darks.
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
>along
> the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do
>more
> sit-ups.
> 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
>loofah,
> wide loofah, and pumice stone.
> 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
> vitamins.
> 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
> natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
>until
> red.
> 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> 10. Complain because your husband had been eating your ginger nut and
> jaffa cake body wash.
> 11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
> 12. Shave armpits and legs.
> 13. Turn off shower.
> 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
>Tilex.
> 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
>Wrap
> hair in super absorbent towel.
> 16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.
> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> 18. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> How To Shower Like a Man
> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
>them in
> a pile.
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
>wiener
> at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
> wiener and scratch your butt.
> 4. Get in the shower.
> 5. Wash your face.
> 6. Wash your armpits.
> 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
>sound
> in the shower.
> 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
>
> 11. Shampoo your hair.
> 12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> 13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> 14. Pee.
> 15. Rinse off and get out of shower.
> 16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
>was
> hanging out of tub the whole time.
> 17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> 18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> 19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
>pull
> off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woowoo' sound again.
> 20. Throw wet towel on bed.
>