note from lance: i've swiped this from popaghandi.com without the knowledge of the author - avast! prepare to be boarded! arrr!

to assuage my guilt somewhat, i recommend you ( especially you, blob ) visit - she is an excellent writer.




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We do not forget the civic-minded public that reads the Straits Times everyday and writes in to "air their views", to cringe-worthy effect, displaying much skill in syllogism and logical fallacies in the process.

'A whole generation of female smokers is being created. In time to come, women who smoke like men will die like men. Such irony, in the name of women's liberty, equality and progress! A whole generation of women are going to die prematurely from lung and other smoking-related cancers. A whole generation of passive-smoking children will grow up in homes with two smoking parents... The Government should ban tobacco, just like it banned chewing gum. Is the harm created by chewing-gum litter greater than that caused by smoking?'

Can I scream yet? This letter writer deserves an award simply for being able to squeeze so many leaps of logic into one letter. ("In time to come, women who smoke like men will die like men... ... Such irony, in the name of women's liberty, equality and progress... Is the harm created by chewing-gum litter greater than that caused by smoking?")
Granted, the occasional lovely article or two from Janadas Devan makes it a little better. But not enough.

I'd rather read the North Korean news service - which is at least, proud of its syllogistic leanings with pronouncements like "Intolerable is Japan's perfidious act of reneging on its commitments with other countries. Clear is the stand of the DPRK. It will never make any deal with Japan nor expect any solution so long as it shows no good faith, recoiling from its commitments. Japan should fulfil its commitment and behave in good faith, clearly understanding the principled stand of the DPRK."

It seems we share journalistic abilities as well as political patterns with the hermit kingdom!




Thrill Of The Chaste

'He says he and his wife enjoy a level of emotional security which would be difficult to achieve had they given in to pre-marital sex. "There are no flashbacks of sexual experiences with previous partners. When you make love, it is fully with your spouse and your spouse only. It's totally exclusive," he says..'

'In the three years that the 29 year old administration and shipping executive has dated Nur Idayu Mohamed, 24, he has never kissed her. The furthest he has gone is holding her hands... But the two devout Muslims say their relationship is anything but lacklustre... "She is soft-spoken, lady-like and religious. I can see her as the mother of my kids." '

'Two years ago, halfway through a screening of Gangs of New York, he and a few friends walked out of the cinema when a nude scene came on. "Scenes like that aren't good influences".. They have vowed to remain virgins until they get married next year...'

It gets better.
'two months ago, while alone at his home, they nearly crossed the boundary. She says: "We weren't on the brink of it, but it could have led to more things. Then, Kevin stopped in his tracks and we decided we'd better leave the house quickly.'
It makes you wonder: perhaps, they were - hold your breath for it - holding hands?

It's never so clear-cut as the newspapers put it.
Not everyone is thrilled by the chaste: a few days ago, a straight girlfriend of mine recounted her anguish at having a prudish boyfriend, to hilarious effect. She said - "He desperately wants to prove he is a staunch Catholic. Of course he lapses, but always insists on remaining technically a virgin - at times I feel like I'm going out with a lesbian, if you know what I mean. Though you're going to tell me they can do the same thing but it's never quite the same, you get the idea."



2) Shappi Khorsandi was a riot.
"I have a problem with the Israelis about their occuption."
(Pregnant pause)
"... of the Eurovision Music Awards. Everytime my Jewish friend comes to London and they ask, 'occupation?' - and she has to say, 'no, just the Eurovision Music Awards.' "
"I wonder what it'd be like if they had a Middle East music award.
'Now, the contestant from Iraq..' - '(hums) Allah..'
'The contestant from Syria..' - '(hums) Allah...'
'The contestant from Iran..' - '(mute; subtitles) We would really love to sing but we are forbidden to by the Ayatollah.' "

"Everyone goes to India to find themselves.
Ever wondered where young Indian people go to find themselves?
- Birmingham."