thoughts and gripes

1. the movie seems to be a bit heavy on homo-erotic undertones. sam and that whole "mr frodo" bit, merry and pippin - that bit where merry covered pippin with a blanket near the end of the movie was especially gay -, then there was the bit where frodo got captured by the bondage orcs ( why else would they strip him and tie him up? think, man, think,! ).

and don't even get me started on smeagol.

freud would've had a field day with peter jackson, i think.


2. for someone who's supposed to be the biggest, baddest wizard on this side of middle-earth, gandalf doesn't do a whole lot of magic. most of the time, he was charging around with sword and staff like some shaolin master. i mean, come on! the man has got to be at least 70! taking a cue from yoda in attack of the clones?

in fact the only magic he did in RotK was to switch on his naz-gul repellant staff.
which he probably bought at wizards-r-us, anyway.


3. denethor - what, after all that drama he finally sets himself on fire, then instead of dying with some dignity - preferably with some heroic, or at least defiant, last words, like, "i may burn now, but you'll burn in hell forever!" [ did someone already say that? ].

but no. after he lights up like a torch he goes charging out and throws himself off a cliff.
what, suddenly realised that immolating yourself'd hurt?

y'think? huh bitch? y'think?


4. that bit where mordor, for no good reason starts to crumble and collapse? well, how come the entire chunk of ground where the good guys are, stays intact while the ground surrounding them falls into wherever it is computer generated images go when they're not needed any more ( the big server in the sky, maybe? ).

bit too pat, isn't it?


5. that bit after the whole legolas-action-hero sequence where he single-handedly takes down an oliphaunt ( even for a fantasy movie, it's still pushing it, peter jackson. although i'm guessing that 1 minute sequence alone was good for a few extra ten millions of bucks from the 99% of the female population in love with orlando bloom ) and gimli goes, "well, it still only counts as one!" or words to that effect.

go gimli, you rock!


6. eowyn opening a can of whoop-ass on the witch-king - c'mon, two chops and his big bad naz-gul is dead? what, no kick is it?!

then that cheesy one-liner after she lays the smackdown on him? page out of arnie's book, what?


7. anyone else notice that "bilbo" rhymes with "dildo"?

cool, huh!


8. it was a real mistake casting hugo weaving in both the matrix and LotR. everyone keeps thinking "agent smith" whenever he has a scene in LotR.


9. i am not completely insensitive to the fact that not everyone might have watched RotK already. hence, for the sake of those underprivileged few, i am hereby giving warning: WARNING: POST CONTAINS RotK SPOILERS.

:-p


on a more serious note...it doesn't seem like so long ago we were watching fellowship and going, "wow, by the time the the last one comes out, we'll have been in army for a year already." 2 years doesn't seem like such a long time when you've got LotR.