Friday, June 03, 2005

Downfall, detailing the last days of the Third Reich, is an excellent film. do go catch it.

especially if you're thinking of watching madagascar instead. trust me on this.

i've never seen so many germans in a theater, and heard a theater so quiet even after the lights go on and people start filing out.


as an entertaining after-movie activity, gather your friends and laugh as loudly as you can while the credits are rolling! the objective of the game is simply to survive the crowd of enraged germans! winner (if any) gets to keep his (former) friends' stuff!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

i am convinced that bald men shine their heads. they use some sort of head-shine cream and a soft cloth to buff their heads into radiance.

the reason you and i have never seen head-shine cream being sold anywhere is because it isn't. rather, once you become bald, a messenger - perhaps a goblin, or an elf, or, more appropriately, a bald eagle! - will deliver to you an Endless Tube of Head-shine.



ladyboys are fascinating, in a roadkill sort of way. as in, when you see roadkill in the distance you know its going to be disgusting yet you still can't help looking when you pass it in the hope of seeing the odd kidney or two.

empirical data (collected over the course of a few beers at changi village last night) indicates that ladyboys fall into two discrete categories - the butt ugly that's-a-man-in-a-dress! variety, and the omigod-that's-a-man??? type.

that is, generally, ladyboys are either very obviously male - broad shoulders, obvious adam's apple and such, or, they look like extremely hot females in both face and figure. honestly, they look a damn sight better than a lot of real females.

which is scary.

which leads up to this poser - which type do their customers prefer? after all, if you're into ladyboys, isn't it logical that you'd prefer the obviously-male type? if you're going for the hot-babe type, why not get a normal (female) hooker?



aroma gel is a cool air-freshener.



the schapelle corby case is getting me a little paranoid. i don't want to spend my next 20 years in some scummy hungarian jail with nothing to eat but paprika!

to prevent anyone from slipping something into my rucksack, perhaps i shall wear it on my front instead of my back. unfortunately, besides making me look like an idiot and someone who thinks everyone else is a thief, it will also make navigation a little difficult since it is a 50l pack which will cover my eyes.

or maybe i should fill my pack with little packets of talcum powder. that way, any nefarious evil-doer who wishes to use me as a hapless drug mule will see that i've been 'taken' already, so to speak. hopefully there exists such a thing as professional courtesy amongst drug runners.

there's something not quite right about that last plan, though. i just can't figure out what it is...